Bumfumble & Crank: A Life of Payne

On Behalf of Media Graduates Everywhere…

Anybody who knows me knows that I’m the sort of person who struggles with confidence and belief in my own abilities. But there are moments when I don’t. And they’re usually inspired by anger.

I had this conversation this evening, during a brief visit to a housewarming party somebody at work was throwing. 

I was introduced as Scott from the bakery. Fair enough. All going well. Then…

BLOKE: Do you know what I think is pointless? Media Studies. Anybody with a degree in Media is wasting their time. They’re never going to get a job.

*awkward moment*

SCOTT: Erm… I actually did Scriptwriting at Uni.

BLOKE: See! Pointless. Look where you are now. In a shop.

SCOTT (VOICE-OVER): Fuck you.

SCOTT: Actually, this is just what I do to earn a bit of extra cash. I work as a freelance scriptwriter in my spare time.

BLOKE: (Smirks) “Freelance”, right…

SCOTT (VOICE-OVER): That’s it. You’re dead.

SCOTT: Yeah, I’m developing a TV drama series with some production companies and I write a children’s radio series for a commercial station which has just been submitted into the BBC Audio Drama Awards. 

BLOKE: Oh…

SCOTT (VOICE-OVER): IN YOUR FACE.

SCOTT: And what do you do?

BLOKE: I, erm, work at a company that prints labels.

SCOTT: And how’s that?

BLOKE: It’s… crap.

SCOTT: Ah, well. Stick at it. Maybe one day you’ll get to print the label on my Bafta.

SCOTT (VOICE-OVER): YOU HAVE JUST EXPERIENCED PAYNE. 

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This conversation is on behalf of Media Graduates all over the world. 

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‘extra cash’ - basically ALL MY MONEY, bills and rent, etc… :P